


Funny How That Happens, Isn't It?

by absolute_hooligan



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - No Pennywise (IT), Bill Denbrough & Eddie Kaspbrak Are Best Friends, Comedian Richie Tozier, Derry (Stephen King) is Terrible, Eddie Kaspbrak & Richie Tozier Bantering, Eddie Kaspbrak & Stanley Uris Are Best Friends, Eddie Kaspbrak is a Mess, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:13:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27332497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/absolute_hooligan/pseuds/absolute_hooligan
Summary: Eddie Kaspbrak was turning 30, not a big deal, right? Well, when his two good friends take him to see a comedian for his birthday, it's a little shocking. And the events after are even weirder...
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 2
Kudos: 67





	Funny How That Happens, Isn't It?

**Author's Note:**

> howdy, I thought of this and I had to write it. enjoy some losers being middle aged gay disasters.

Eddie was trying to adjust to having people who  _ genuinely  _ wanted to talk to him. He had a vague group of friends he’d gladly keep in touch with now. Stan was his childhood best friend back in Derry, and said friend had now moved out to Atlanta. And in Atlanta Stan had met Bill who also, coincidentally, grew up in Derry. 

It always seemed weird that he and Bill never met until now, but hey, he was happy for the company. Bill was out in LA, meanwhile Eddie was based in NYC. The three were actually pretty close, meeting together in their respective cities.

Stan and Bill - much to Eddie’s surprise and dismay - had planned an  _ entire _ day out for his birthday. He was turning  _ thirty  _ not thirteen. 

“C-c-come on Eddie,” Bill had an unfortunate stutter, it had stuck around even with all the work to quell it, “It’ll b-b-b-be fun!”

Eddie huffed, “I’m not going anywhere that I don’t know. You two don’t even live here!”

“Patty did for a little,” Stan had a lovely girlfriend who he was living with back in Atlanta, “I know my way around a grid system asshole.”

“Wow, I’m so proud!” Eddie mumbled, sinking further into his apartment’s couch with each word.

“Guess you aren’t seeing Trashmouth then…” Stan mused, staring wistfully at the ceiling.

“Aw sh-sh shucks!” Bill scuffed the floor where he was standing.

Eddie had half a mind to scold him for fucking up his absolutely  _ flawless _ cleaning work. But the thing that Stan said sank in before he could act.  _ Trashmouth…? _

Stan looked amused, Eddie quickly tried to fix whatever facial expression caused that damn smirk.

“You heard me,” Stan leaned onto his knees where he sat, basically drowning in the overstuffed armchair, “Bill thought you’d dig it, seeing as its stand up comedy. And get this, the guy’s from  _ Derry _ .”

“No fucking way!” Eddie was borderline yelling. But the fact that he knew that there was  _ this  _ many people in Derry to begin with, well, that alone was shocking.

“C-c-c'mon Eddie, at l-least try and g-g-g-go! You might like it!” Bill looked hopefully at Eddie, and Stan was making a similar yet more reserved expression.

Eddie caved,  _ as if I have anything better to do… _

“Fine! When’s the show?”

* * *

On arrival, Eddie was  _ terrified _ . Loads of people who he didn’t know shuffling around shoulder to shoulder? So fucking gross, how many diseases had he got from just being in the area?

“Relax man,” Bill held Eddie’s shoulder, “Just h-h-have fun! Stan said he’ll p-pay for wh-wha-whatever you want!”

“Let me clarify, for  _ dinner _ .” Stan commented, leading the trio to their seats.

“Damn, thought you’d get me a convertible.” Eddie deadpanned, causing Bill to giggle and Stan to stare disapprovingly. Which to be frank, wasn’t too out of place for old man Stanley Uris. 

Eddie and the guys talked a little bit, waiting for the show to start. From what Eddie gathered, this guy was getting to be fairly well known. He also did acting gigs on the side, so he got noticed a lot for that too. Apparently he was also Bi, which Eddie didn’t expect. And honestly, he had no idea why Stan even mentioned it.

It’s not like he’s going to hit on this guy… right?

As the man graced the stage, Eddie  _ immediately  _ knew why Stan said something to him. He was tall, broad shouldered, yet somehow gangly. His hair was a vaguely tamed mess of black hair. And his face was gifted with a oh so faint stubble. And the  _ glasses _ , his glasses were ungodly thick, but they framed his square jaw perfectly.

If Eddie was someone else, he would have tried to get with him. But he isn’t someone else, and Eddie is only out as gay to a select few people. Two of them being the bastards that brought him here.

It occurred to Eddie that the clothes the man on stage wore made matters  _ much  _ worse. It was a simple black shirt with a blazer and jeans! So casual but for some reason it made Eddie  _ swoon _ . 

“Howdy there folks, I imagine you all know what you’re about to get into?” the man started, “If you meant to get seats for John Mulaney’s show then get in line, I’ve been waiting for two years and I’ll be damned if you get in first!”

Eddie understood most of the set’s beginning. Mostly just warm ups, as the guy on stage made clear.

“Now, I grew up in the middle of buttfuck nowhere Maine. Like hold on, who here in this audience is from Derry?” The man held his microphone in the crowds direction.

Bill nudged Stan to make a whoop noise with him. And reluctantly, Stan did, and Eddie followed, thinking Bill’s enthusiasm was oddly charming.

The man looked in the direction of the three men, squinting to  _ attempt  _ to see past the stage lights blinding rays, “No fuckin way!” 

The audience started cackling, “Okay no, woah! You guys or gals, or maybe you’re all lawn flamingos… off topic, okay.”

Eddie laughed at the mans rambling, it was stupid, but it worked through the delivery, “He can’t be serious…”

The man looked out to the crowd again, looking dumbfounded, “Okay wait, I thought I was the  _ only  _ kid in my grade! I always thought the other kids got eaten by sewer clowns!”

Eddie, feeling cocky, yelled back, “Neibolt’s a crackhouse!”

The man on stage started laughing, and suddenly Eddie was glad Bill got seats close to the stage. Eddie would do anything to hear that laugh again, it was an incredibly weird reaction considering he didn’t even know the comedians name. Well, assuming it wasn’t “Trashmouth”.

“Whoever you are, I  _ know  _ you’re from Derry now!” The man beamed, “This is actually a perfect start to this shindig, holy shit!”

_ Well, maybe this won’t be so bad.... _

* * *

“S-s-so what d-did you think Eddie?” Bill asked, the group slowly making their way out of the theater.

“Pretty good, although I could feel Stanley’s ‘I told you so’ from where I was sitting.” Eddie remarked.

Stan shrugged, “I’ve known you the longest, I probably know you more than yourself.”

Eddie laughed, “I wouldn’t doubt it…”

The friends finally made it to the outside of the theater, making their way to the left of the sidewalk. Stan and Bill let Eddie handle the navigation side of trips when it came to New York. And the fast paced  _ everything _ was whiplash to Stan, seeing as he was in the outskirts of Atlanta. Bill was a little more accustomed, but not in the same way.

So when somebody crashed into Eddie - who was checking to make sure he didn’t lose the others - it was a little bit jarring.

Not to mention, there was now hot as shit  _ something _ on his shirt.

“Holy shit-” the person’s voice was deep, but it still held some lightness to it.

“Where the fuck do you live where looking at your phone while walking is a good idea?” Eddie hadn’t looked as to who spilled their drink on him. Because Eddie was still trying to figure out  _ what  _ drink was spilled on him, “You live in LA or something?”

The person laughed,  _ I know that laugh _ , to Eddie’s dismay, the culprit was none other than the man he just saw perform.

“How the fuck did you know?” He asked, eyes a little less frightened behind his glasses.

“No New Yorker worth jack shit would walk that slow.” Eddie deadpanned, a talent he developed after years of being friends with Stan. 

“Damn, you got me there,” the man smiled apologetically, “God I’m sorry, I’m Richie by the way.”

_ Richie… cute name, wait no- _

“Eddie. Now uh, what the hell do I do about this?” 

Richie winced, “Oh yeah! Shit I’m so sorry Eds.”

“Don’t call me Eds.” But the comment only seemed to egg Richie on. If the devious smirk forming on the comedian’s face was anything to go off of.

“Well someone’s just as bitter as my coffee!” Richie said, his tone light.

Eddie huffed, “Aren’t comedians supposed to be funny?”

Richie made an over the top gasping noise, draping the back of his hand across his forehead, “Oh you wounded me Eduardo, and I was just hittin’ my stride!”

Eddie almost -  _ almost  _ \- giggled, “Surr you were, try callin me when you have some  _ actual  _ material…”

Richie’s eyes lit up, in a way Eddie wasn’t quite able to place.

“Is that an invitation?” Richie asked.

Eddie gave a small shrug, “If you want it to be.”

Richie looked around a moment before seemingly settling on something. He dug a sharpie from his back pocket, then passed it, and the now nearly empty coffee cup to the other man.

Eddie laughed quietly at the absurd nature of all this. But it wasn’t exactly an unwelcome event…

He handed back the cup to Richie, letting his fingers brush the other’s knuckles, “I’ll pick up normally, just not before noon.”

“You got it!” Richie was beaming. It was oddly adorable to Eddie.

“I gotta go but, I’ll be expecting a rejection text at  _ least. _ ” Eddie said, hoping that Richie wouldn’t do  _ exactly that. _

Richie smiled impossibly wider, “Rejection is a sting word there Eds, I’d say more of a… declination of a formal meeting.”

“Whatever asshole,” Eddie’s smile betrayed him as he turned to lead his friends the other way, “I’ll see you around?”

“Totally,” Richie’s voice was smooth as Eddie turned away, “I’ll pay you back ten fold for this whole… thing.”

“I’d be offended if you didn’t!” Eddie sort of yelled over his shoulder, currently directing the people who dragged him out to the theater in the first place.

Eddie heard a small laugh as he walked away, and he assumed it was the message he left on the cup…

_ You fucked my birthday up, you owe me a present now dickwad - Eddie K. _

_ XXX-XXX-XXXX _

The confused/impressed ramblings of his friends were mere background noise. Fading into the loud bustling of New York City. And for the first time in his life, Eddie had a fairly decent birthday.

**Author's Note:**

> feel free to leave a comment, Id love to see what you have to say!


End file.
